One of the guys from Collective Apathy has asked me to post a rant on my site… seems that the Collective Apathy site is still down, denying Shovel of his outlet. So here is his rant, in full and unedited.

——– Original Message ——–
Subject: MCG: Fun Exclusion Zone?
Date: Thu, 27 Dec 2007 12:25:38 +1100

While retarded monkeys, the daughters of bloated egomaniacs and phone text addicts all chimed in to tell us how to ‘reinvent the game of cricket’ this week, all in the name of somehow restoring its status in Australia, Cricket Australia and the MCC did their very best it seems, to ensure this would not be an easy task by once again employing their “zero tolerance” policy toward cricket fans actually trying to bring some personality back into the stands.

While 2 visiting kiwi’s were ejected for a blatantly obvious joke sign from 7-11 ’supporting Indians all over the world’, and others were ejected for standing on their seat to celebrate a century by one of Australia’s greatest opening batsmen, several makers of rollercoaster restraint harnesses were rubbing their hands with glee over the potential new contract to install their pull down overhead restraint systems to every seat inside the G.

Unconfirmed reports have been rife that the MCC has been drafting a request for tenders to install the restraint systems usually employed on rides that actually provide non-stop entertainment from the moment you get on. Despite cricket’s obvious lack of ‘non-stop entertainment’, the aging MCC board have apparently unanimously agreed it is the only way to save the purity of the game.

Personally, I’m all for the restraint system, because once the MCC has successfully alienated all potential visitors to “the greatest stadium on earth” (*cough*), and everybody just stays home and streaks across their own living room, they will be forced to make use of these restraint systems by turning the G into one giant “Gravitron”. Just imagine how exciting cricket will be to watch when you are spinning around and around and around. Each level could spin in opposite directions, so on those days when it’s not a sellout, you can mix it up, by moving between levels. Who needs the wave then?

And here’s the icing on the cake. each bay will be repainted black or red with a giant number painted under the seats. The MCC will then run an online betting roulette game. Punters can place bets on what bay the cricket ball will land in for every six hit in the match. Given the popularity of online gambling, this will make the MCC and Cricket Australia a BOMB.

So bring on the restraints i say. “It’s good for cricket!”

No, this is not going to be a rant about the state of public transport in Melbourne… If that is what you want Daniel Bowen might be your best bet.
No… this post is documenting my first commute to work via public transport. Yes, not since my uni days have i used public transport for anything other than a trip into the city for a sporting event, or family excursion.
So… here I am sitting on a tram trying to type this on my phone with a stylus… so i don’t know if i’ll finish this before frustration levels overcome my persistence.
Why am I commuting on public transport? After my accident on the Western Ring Road last Thursday, writting-off my Barina, we’re back to being a one car household.
Okay… my fingers are going numb from this stylus. I’ll have to complete this later.
.

The Scottish government have just spent £125,000 on a new national slogan to be used sell Scotland to visitors, and the best they could get for their money was

“Welcome to Scotland”

Hardly what you’d call imaginative.

Reckon they were better off with their previous slogan

“The Best Small Country in the World”

I’d have happily made a few suggestions if they were willing to throw some of that cash my way… how about

Scotland: More than just kilts and bagpipes

or

Scotland: Just like haggis, you might like it once you’ve tried it

I sure they could have done better than “Welcome to Scotland” for that sort of money.

I’ve been trying to get mobile blogging working here so that I can post from my newish mobile¹ , however I hit a slight snag with my host ISP bouncing email sent from my mobile’s email account. I think I’ve devised a work-around and this post will test if it’s been successful… here’s hoping.
.

Notes:

1. Sony Ericsson M600i [↩]

Just watched a couple of repeat episodes of ABCs “Standup!”, which was hosted by Meshel Whatsherface… I know her name is Meshel Laurie, but what is her face?
Seriously though, watching this made me really miss “The Big Gig”, which “Standup!” was supposed to be a rehash of, except Meshel wasn’t as funny as Wendy Harmer on “The Big Gig” and considering how unfunny Wendy Harmer was would suggest that Meshel was really unfunny.
At least the acts on “Standup!” were quite good… especially liked “Flight of the Concord”.
ABC should bring back “The Big Gig”… but who would host it? Corin Grant, perhaps? .