Blood on the Tiles

While I suspected as much to be true, yesterday morning I had it confirmed that:

  • It’s quite easy to slip in the bath/shower
  • In a one-on-one battle between the human head and the corner of a vanity unit, the head will lose
  • Speaking of losing stuff… consciousness…
  • A cut just above the right temple will bleed A LOT
  • Your wife WILL scream your name when she comes in and finds your lifeless body hanging out of the bath with a pool of blood on the floor under your head
  • Understandably, children that see their bleeding father laying on the bathroom floor will become emotional
  • It does seem like forever before the ambulance arrives
  • You do start to consider all the things you’ll miss if you die
  • You will make a conscious effort to stay awake
  • The ambulance officers, having seen much worse in their line of work may describe the two inch cut as “just a graze” and may opt not to take you to the hospital, but that you take a day or two off work
  • This will all occur in the brief period between your ambulance subscription lapsing and you getting the Medicare cheques back which allow you to renew your membership
  • That will not matter because you’ll be grateful for still being alive
  • During your enforced day-off you’ll happily spend as much time with your family, playing chess, monopoly and UNO all day
  • Chewing may cause the wound to reopen
  • You may discover a bruised rib and knee when it’s time to go to bed
  • You may find it difficult to sleep as you can’t rest your head on one side

I’ve considered my own mortality a few times over the years, usually when a friend has died at a young age, but it’s different when you’re laying on the floor, holding a towel to your head trying to stop the bleeding… it’s no longer a philosophical consideration, it’s a real-time, real-life one.

Oh… and another thing… the pool of blood WILL stain the grout between the tiles on the bathroom floor.


  1. I’m not too sure if that was supposed to be humorous or not.. but I couldn’t help myself. I laughed. I beg forgiveness if I.. No, scrap that. I beg forgiveness fullstop. People are dying everyday and what do I do? I laugh. Oh the shame.. *dramatic hand movements* You certainly have a way with words. ^_^;; Your blog has been added to my list. Good-day. *salutes*

  2. Gee wiz!

    Hey, a friend who was once temporarliy parylsed after a car crash told me he was on a rotisserie for six months next to a guy who became quadriplegic after slipping over in the shower. the man apparently never quite got over the ignominimy of it all and later committed suicide. my friend reckons he’s been left with a phobia about having showers since.

    Well, get well soon!

  3. Thanks Gianna. I too have heard lots of horror stories… thankfully all is well. Sure the kids are still talking about it, and there is now a non-slip mat in the bath now… oh… and a nice scar (thankfully covered by hair), but when you consider what might have been…. I’m very grateful it turned out as it did.

  4. Hi vlado,

    I was sorry to hear about your accident and I am truly glad that you are still here with us.

    It is a sad fact that accidents like yours happen every day.

    Thankfully there is a solution, and safer than non-slip bath mats that can harbour bacteria etc.

    We sell a product called Wonder Step that can be used on enamel baths, ceramic shower trays and floor tiles, without changing the appearance of the surface. It works by creating microscopic crystals in the natural pores of the surface.

    If you, or anyone else, would like more information, please feel free to contact me on 0423 203992 or visit our website

    P.S. come-on the Victory 😉

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